Can you coach when you're not in a coaching session?

Many managers I train in coaching skills find the idea of finding someone to practise on a little daunting. Understandably it could feel a bit odd if you were talking to someone and they suddenly ask the question "Could I coach you on this?"

Firstly, I think it helps if you start with the idea that you can coach very effectively without "doing" a coaching session per se - just by having a coaching conversation you can help someone to do even better thinking, which is what coaching aims to achieve. So what's meant by a coaching conversation?

Coaching is just a conversation or a series of conversations that one has with another. It's about style and not about context or length; and coaching conversations can take place anywhere, not just in formal coaching sessions.

Let's say you meet someone at the water cooler and they tell you about a situation they’re facing, when you ask a thought-provoking question such as “What do you think the real issue is here?” or “What options do you have?” you are coaching. When you’re telling them what you think or what you’d do in their shoes, you’re not coaching.  

Alternatively, think about a time when someone asked you “How do I do this?” or “This has happened; what shall we do?”  Did you find yourself immediately giving your thoughts and ideas in order to be helpful? Or worse, did you find yourself the one left with the problem that they should have managed? Either way, you probably missed an opportunity to coach.

So - some clues as to whether a conversation is a coaching conversation are:

• Is the focus of the conversation mostly and intentionally on one individual or team?
• Is the intention of the coach genuinely positive towards the other person or people?
• Are they being encouraged and enabled to think for themselves?
• Are the skills of listening, questioning, and reflection being used?
• Is their awareness and sense of responsibility being raised?
• Does the individual think about the conversation afterwards and benefit from that reflection?
• Is there a commitment from the person to doing something more effectively or behaving in a beneficial way after the conversation?

When these are happening, it’s likely that coaching is happening. So if you hold these in mind and use the ideas when you're out and about having conversations, you'll be getting lots of practice in using coaching skills.

Secondly. you need to look for opportunities to coach - it benefits people and it benefits you.  And you might be surprised at how willing people are to "be coached".  Of course it could be a bit impertinent to think you can coach just any old person without asking their permission - in fact it could be quite intrusive unless it's been agreed or is a normal part of the culture. But in most cases, where someone asks you for your opinion or where you manage them directly, it would be perfectly OK to pose a coaching question instead of giving them the answer.  

So - imagine you're having a 1:1 weekly catch up with one of your team. They tell you about a project they're working on and how it's going - OK but there are a few delays and problems. If you were to say "Sounds like on the whole it's going well and you've made great progress; what do you think is really holding things up now?" Or "What else might you be able to do to get it moving again?" You'd be coaching them. They've already started to benefit from the conversation because they are thinking and generating ideas. Then when they tell you a bit more about it, you might find an opportunity to say, "You've talked about how challenging some of the stakeholders are to manage.  If you'd like to generate some new ideas and strategies for yourself, I'd be happy to get together for half an hour or so next week to do a bit of coaching on it". 

The more you get used to asking the more comfortable you and they will feel. And before long, you'll find people come to ask you if they could have some coaching. And then in time it won't feel as if you are coaching, it will just be a part of your style.

Your role as a manager is to help people think well for themselves.  So I'd ask you - what could you do differently tomorrow to help people you manage to do their own, clearest and most inspired thinking? 

Building Trust - focus on relationships not on sales

In the May edition of The Art of Coaching  in Therapy Today I share my thoughts about the importance of building trust in developing work with clients, focusing on relationships rather than "selling".   http://www.therapytoday.net/article/show/1893/

Learning from Coach Assessment Centres

My April Coaching Column in Therapy Today looks at new forms of Coach Assessment Centres - http://www.therapytoday.net/article/show/1867/

Therapy and Coaching - what's the difference?

I m writing this on my blog as there have been so many debates on this subject in the coaching and therapy worlds I wanted to take it a bit wider and see what HR and OD folk think too.

The text below is more or less what I have said on a recent posting to a coaching forum on yahoo groups.



I have have long held the view that coaching and therapy are on a continuum of supportive interventions at different points in people's lives. It's often the context and intention (of both the client and the practitioner) that differentiates them rather than the practise.

Equally, I see "therapy" as being on a continuum from simple supportive listening to complex intensive therapy. If we pathologize the term "therapy" it doesn't help. It's in mainstream use for both counselling and psychotherapy (as far as I am aware, there is still no compelling evidence to prove that counselling and psychotherapy are different activities and have different outcomes) and it can mean different things to people, from "talking about the issue" through to "seeing a shrink"!

So I do have some concern about the idea that some seem to have that therapy is for dysfunctional people. Many people find it invaluable during crises that we might all reasonably expect in or around own our lives and communities at some point: bereavement, divorce, infertility, being bullied, serious illness, disability, relationship problems etc. When people seek support to help them to understand, respond, manage or recover from these challenges, many are actually functioning pretty well. EAPs / workplace counselling services see people like this every day; clients have their session and go straight back to work.

Naturally there are individuals who have greater challenges in coping with distressing past and present life events, in achieving good emotional and mental health and who experience repeated or protracted difficulties, and thus who may need more in-depth work. Yet many of these clients at the right point can benefit from a coaching approach too.

I don't think it's useful either to assume that all therapy focuses on the past or that it's all going to be negative and painful, or that the therapist is expert and the client is not. There are many brief, future oriented and client empowering forms of therapy (for example Solution Focused Therapy and CBT) which have been embraced by the coaching world, and many highly generative ideas in coaching that have been embraced in client oriented therapy (for example, Clean Language and The Thinking Environment).

Many skilful and experienced coaches from non therapeutic backgrounds now do life enhancing and healing work with clients suffering from distressing symptoms such as severe anxiety, panic attacks and phobias, situations which would once have been the sole domain of therapists and hypnotherapists. Professional supervision is much better established as a supportive reflective learning place for coaches as well as therapists, and more coach training and CPD is available to support in addressing the needs of more complex clients; these have both helped to widen out the type of work that coaches do. Whether coach or therapist, their skills and experience will be on a continuum too, so ensuring that the needs of the client and the situation are matched with the skill and experience of the practitioner is key to professional and safe practise.

Our challenge is perhaps how to help clients to decide what they need and how practitioners, whether coach or therapist, we can explain how they work so  that clients can make informed choices.

Solution Focused Management

We’ve all said it – “If only people came to me with solutions not problems!” Yet when something goes wrong, sometimes it’s just human nature to focus on the negative.

So how can you do better thinking about problems, and encourage others to do the same? The Solution Focused Approach may be just the answer you need.

Think for a moment about when you last had a really tricky problem that just wouldn’t go away. What did you do? Did you talk it over with someone, or do a list of it pros and cons about it, or mull it over alone, or something else? Did you get anywhere? If you did, I’m guessing that you adopted a particular mindset - either deliberately or unconsciously – and you thought ahead to your goal or desired outcome. And if you didn’t get anywhere, I’m guessing that you just thought about the problem, over and over. And maybe came back to square one again.

Phlosophers and psychologists have long said that when we look at only the problem, we see only the problem. It sounds obvious, yet a shift in thinking is often all it takes to see something other than the problem.

This is how the Solution Focused approach (SF) came about. Originally pioneered in the 80s by family therapists Steve de Shazer and Insoo Kim Berg, they found that helping clients to shift from thinking about the problem to what the client’s life could be like without it, clients made better progress. They didn’t need to go into the problem in detail, they just helped clients to focus on what the “preferred outcome” looked like. They didn’t ignore problems entirely or rush to solutions, but with skilful questioning, they avoided getting bogged down in the negative.

In short, SF brings attention to:

• the positive rather than the negative
• the present and future rather than the past
• the solution rather than the problem.

SF has since been adapted for use across many fields of industry and education. It can be used in executive and team coaching, group facilitation, organisation development, stakeholder management, change management, project management .. the list is endless. 

Whether you want to make conversations with a usually negative person more productive, re-energise your team meetings, generate better appraisal discussions, or conduct great negotiations, you’ll find it useful. It’s fundamentally a questioning and conversational tool although you may find it equally helpful in your private thinking time. SF is built on a series of core principles: 

• Be respectfully curious – ask meaningful questions but don’t interrogate
• Look to the “preferred” future not the past
• Look for resources rather than deficits – what are the person’s (or organisation's) strengths?
• Build on successes – once you know what works, do more of it 
• Stop doing something if it’s not working. Do something different instead!
• There will nearly always be times when the problem is not happening – what’s different then?
• Find out what is already contributing to the preferred future that can be built upon
• Accept that people are the experts in all aspects of their own lives
• Believe that small steps can genuinely make a big difference
• Have genuine expectations of good outcomes

Like most coaching models, SF has numerous “tools” you can use; their effectiveness depends on the timing, tone and context, and all can be mastered with practise. Here are some of the most effective ones:

Best Hopes / Outcome

This establishes a goal, ensures that people set their own agenda, and generates a sense of optimism.

“What are your best hopes for our meeting today?”

The Preferred Future

Where people can envision a future that’s real for them, they are much more likely to take action, and the more detailed the picture, the more powerful it is. A series of questions can be used to help (as long as each answer is fully listened to before the next one is asked!)

“We’re agreed that going forward we’d all like this team to be working more effectively. “How would we know that was happening?” “What would we be seeing and doing?” “Who else would notice?” “What would they see?” “What else?”

Scaling

One of the most powerful tools in SF, scaling enables the person to articulate how close they are to the preferred future as well as stating the size of the problem as they see it. Often it’s easier to give a number than put our feelings into words. A low number e.g. 4 offers the opportunity to explore what’s happening that’s making it a 4 and not zero, and a high number offers the opportunity to spotlight strengths and resources being utilised.

“So if 10 represents us hitting budget and 0 the opposite, where would you score us currently?”

Resources

Everyone has resources – they just might not know it. It’s a powerful way of acknowledging that people are not helpless and that they are coping. Resources might be skills, past experience, people, or tools – anything that aids.

"You’ve said in the past that you find talking to Simon the CEO a bit daunting. Yet how did you manage to have that tough conversation with him yesterday?”

“What did we do to win this client in the first place, and how might our learning from that contribute in getting this new piece of work?”

The Miracle Question

This helps the person to articulate the preferred future – i.e. what life will be like when the problem has gone.

“Imagine for a moment that the problem disappeared overnight – what would you see / feel / how would you know / that would tell you the problem had gone? “

Exceptions

SF believes that there will always be exceptions when a problem is not occurring, but people often fail to notice because they’re looking for the problem. Once identified, exceptions can be used to do more of whatever it is that makes the difference.

"You said that Jake and Karen always argue when you put them to work together. Can you recall a time when they didn’t argue? ….. What was different?"

Small Steps
If goals are set too high or action plans too big, they have the potential to cause the human brain to go into fight or flight mode. If the brain chooses fight, that might be a temporary state, and the initial enthusiasm and motivation for the task can fade. If the brain chooses flight then the idea of a large goal can seem terrifying. By breaking down goals and improvements into small steps, they seem more attainable, and thus are more likely to be followed through.

"If 10 represents your goal of being on time all the time, and you've already got it from a 3 to a 5, what would be the first small steps you might take towards a 6?"

Asking “What else? “

The richer the detail, the more powerful the picture and the more resourceful the person will feel.

“You've said that if you were better prepared, you’d be feeling a lot more confident about giving the presentation. What else would you be noticing?”

Compliments

Compliments are a key part of SF. Validating what the person is already doing well and acknowledging their efforts encourages them to continue.

“You’ve clearly made considerable efforts to improve the relationship with this demanding customer, yet they’re still complaining. I think that’s required a lot of resilience from you; it can’t have been easy”.

Conclusion

Once people articulate things in positive future focused language, they start to make improvements almost immediately. Whilst learning from mistakes is useful, often knowing what to do next is more helpful than knowing what you did wrong before.

Like athletes visualising themselves first at the finishing post, taking a Solution Focused approach energises, motivates and makes the vision seem attainable. And as Henry Ford is credited with saying, “If you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re probably right!”.

If this approach is new to you and you decide to try it out, I would love to get your feedback. For further reading, visit http://www.sfwork.com/jsp/index.jsp?mnk=800 where you'll find an extensive book list.

Linda Aspey, March 2010.

http://www.aspey.com/
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Insights on Personal, Professional and Organisational Development

The start of a new decade offers a great opportunity to reflect on the last and build for the future. I’ve worked in the field of personal, professional and organisational development for many years, and this new era feels like a timely one for me to start blogging.

Over the coming months I’ll be sharing my experiences and insights from a range of companies I work with to help you to apply really powerful tools and techniques to your main HR, OD or internal communications priorities, from taking organisations through change through to building a new corporate culture.

This month I’ve shone the spotlight on coaching. When people talk of coaching, they often think of it primarily as a one to one intervention; and yet it's wider than that. Coaching concepts are extremely versatile, offering new ways to look at established practises, helping us to generate fresh ideas and make enhancements to the way we do things right across the organisation.

One example is in induction, that critical event that begins the integration of new employees into the organisation.  Here I outline my thoughts on how coaching can help to ensure that you, your organisation and your newcomers get the very best from the induction. I'd welcome your comments and feedback.


Inspirational Induction - Using Coaching Principles to Engage People and Generate Learning Right at the Start

Do you remember your own induction, what you learned and what impressions you gained of the people and the organisation? Did you come away excited and engaged, or drained and overwhelmed?

As a coach I often work with new managers during their transition into a new organisation. When I ask about their induction, interestingly, for many it's a blur. Few can recall much of it at all, apart from a sense that there was a lot to take in, little time to think, and that the quality of the presentations varied widely.

This is a pity, because often a great deal of effort goes into running induction and it plays a key role in giving someone the best possible start. It’s an excellent opportunity for both the newcomer and the employer to create a positive impression and build the foundations of a good psychological contract. Importantly, it’s often the first formal learning event that new recruits attend. And yet in my experience, induction programmes are rarely reflective of how other learning and development activities are delivered in the organisation.

This is possibly because in induction the primary focus is on giving information rather than generating learning - and the “doing” and “reflecting“ parts of the normal learning cycle get bypassed.

I think it can be different. Just think for a moment what your organisation's induction could be like if:

• it helped people to not just hear about but to absorb the organisation’s strategy
• newcomers shared responsibility for their own learning and were enabled to be resourceful, to think for themselves and make their own discoveries
• people were stretched and supported, and their learning styles valued
• it clearly demonstrated the organisation’s values and culture
• all the presenters were positive role models
• building relationships was seen as being as important as learning about processes
• people came away from the session with commitment to an action plan ....

would it be different from what happens now in your induction programme? If so, might newcomers truly engage on the day and recall the event? And might all those involved in delivering and managing the event feel more than a sense of dread or duty that they had to do their bit on the induction?

Whether you work within the HR arena, are a manager recruiting and inducting your own team, or a senior manager and contributor to induction events, I believe that even with limited time available, if you apply some coaching principles you can transform induction into a positive experience that generates energy and inspires people right at the start.

Principle 1: Establish the purpose and the contract. Being clear about what everyone wants to get out of the induction will help to establish mutual expectations. Discuss your goals and get them to discuss theirs with a partner at the start of the day. This helps to engender a shared sense of ownership for their learning, and reduces the tendency for people to sit around passively waiting for information. Revisit their goals during the day to keep the focus on outcomes.

Induction events often cater for a wide variety of levels, experiences and skills and breaking down barriers is key to people contributing, so get them talking with each other in as many ways as possible.

Principle 2: Make it strategically relevant. Like coaching, induction must be clearly linked to the strategy on several levels.

Firstly if retaining new people is important to your strategy (it's unlikely not to be if you've just spent time and money in recruiting them) senior people will be more likely to support induction than if they think it's just about learning how to fill in holiday forms. So this needs to be communicated to get their buy in.

Secondly, the newcomers need to see, early on, the role they have to play in the organisation's strategy, and whilst many induction programmes do this well, sometimes it's hard for new people to make a personal link. Set them a task to discuss aspects of the strategy in small groups to stretch and encourage them to make sense of it for themselves.

Thirdly, ensure that each induction presenter tells them why their department, function, product or service is directly or indirectly important to the organisation’s strategy and the goals, reinforcing the links in people's minds.

Principle 3: Choose the right people to faciliate the learning. A session that is presented badly by an unprepared, untrained, boring or nervous manager or employee can impact on the credibility of the whole event, and can send out signals that you don't really develop people. If you make your induction events inspiring good people will be more likely to want to get involved.

Principle 4: Model the culture you have or want them to create. Much as a good coach needs to model desired behaviours, the whole induction event needs to model the culture as much as possible. So if your organisation is an exciting place to work, the day and the exercises need to be exciting. Recently recruited employees, buddies and mentors from the business all have a role to play in inducting others and sharing their learning about the culture, so consider drawing upon them during the day.

Principle 5: Challenge people to think and learn for themselves. As most adults learn best by doing, inspirational induction means providing fewer presentations and offering more opportunities for interactivity, in and around the business wherever possible. Researching a key customer; interviewing a manager about their budgeting process; tracking the sales or service cycle; translating frequently used company acronyms - the possibilities are endless. Get people into pairs or small teams, give them some guidelines and be on hand for support where needed. And don’t assume that people lower down the ladder can’t do some of the more challenging tasks – on one induction event the new 18 year old receptionist volunteered to interview the CEO when no-one else would!

If you want to offer time for reflection on their learning or achievement of tasks, consider splitting the induction into shorter sessions spaced over several days.

Principle 6: Encourage them to build relationships. You’ll be doing this throughout the induction by encouraging plenty of shared discussions and exercises. Exercises get them talking, generating energy and networking. The networking theme should be strong throughout the induction and you can encourage them to meet up with each other in one month to reflect on their learning. However, we all know that like meeting people on holiday that you promise to stay in touch with, you never do. So include this in the action planning session at the end. It's also worth considering a short induction refresher for the group a few months down the line, as people tend to get sucked into the sub culture of their department.

Principle 7: Agree an Action Plan. Like a good coaching session, the discoveries made in induction need to be translated into results. However all too often induction days end without a commitment to action, so build in an action planning session where they can set some SMART future learning goals that lead on from today to take back for discussion with their manager.

Conclusion
If you treat the induction like any other developmental and coaching event you’ll be demonstrating and modelling the culture and not just giving hard facts and data. When you engage a range of senses you cater for all learning styles, personality preferences and levels of experience, and inspire people to engage right at the start. And by changing the focus from information-giving to information-seeking, you’ll be setting a really positive tone for the future.

And then hopefully when you ask new recruits a year down the line if they remember their induction, they’ll give you a different answer than the one you might get now.


Linda@aspey.com

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